Sunday Roast Dinner Pizza!

It's the pinnacle of Sunday gastronomy combined with a lip smacking nod towards a universal Takeaway delight.
Stare at it... and salivate...

Cliff lives!! In Wakefield...

Hetfield...you lied to us, I imagine Cliff probably avoids Wakefield public transport system...just in case!

Proof that Wakefield is the Metallica Bassist Capital of the world!

Holy crap... only just noticed 'Bell Street'!... 'For whom the 'bell' tolls'!!!... probably the greatest Bass driven Metalli-tune written to date... and finger-twanged by the great Cliff Burton himself... oh my frickin god!... Wakefield 'is' Metallica!

And with respect to this geographical 4string discovery...I present one of the best bass lines in the world:

(turn that Wah Wah shit up...)

G-19-18-17-16-------19----- repeat this
d-------------17-16-------- verse 5 or
a---------------------17-16 more times
E-------------------------- 
       Second verse
G----------------------- Do this rift 
d----------------------- three times
a----------------------2 
E-3-2-1-0-3-2-1-0-3-2-1- 
When James sings,        do this when 
G------------------------ When James
D------------------------ Sings
a------------------------ 
E------0----0-0-1-0-2-2-0 
        Chorus 
G--------------------------- 
D--------------------------- 
A------------------------1-- 
E-0-0-0-3-0-0-0-5-0-0-0-3--2 

G------------------------------ 
D------------------------------  
A------------------------1----- 
E-0-0-0-3-0-0-0-5-0-0-0-3—2-1-0
          Last verse 
G----------------------- 
D----------------------- 
A----------------------- 
E-2-2-2-5-5-5-3-3-3-0---

Which brings me nicely onto...

The Crane Shaver 300™ for sack and crack!

Daddy Long-legs aren't clumsy...

I recently caught a Crane Fly and made a wonderful study of it's form and beauty. Long have I mused upon it's bimbling cumbersome flight. Oh how I've laughed as they've repeatedly flown head first into a window before finally flaking out and unceremoniously hoovered!

Pathetic...Well that's what I thought!!

Little did I know what was weighing the poor little blighter down, even I wouldn't fancy carrying this lot around...lucky bastard.

Actually...

On reflection that's a shit invention...simple physics really?

The ultimate want...

Roll up, roll up! My first invention... well researched and thought out!?

All men want a larger peepee...not me...I'm colossal!! But, for all you genitally inferior losers out there, here's the invention that will let you confidently unleash your new, larger pant-weasel...

"Just strap it on and put him in, turn it on and watch him spin!"

This quality belt will spin your little man into one mother f*****g big daddy by merely swelling him with excess blood. This is through a process commonly known as "Helicopter haema turgidity" (HHT).

Annie Lennox once said sweet dreams are made of cheese...I couldn't agree more!? Snap it up!

(This is an actual representation of the working product)

Almost photographic in its realism!

Things we know to be true No.272

Not much more to add on this one... pretty much self explanitory.

Standing on the edge of madness... wearing a hat!

It’s been a fair old while in the thought process but our ramblings are finally about to hit the big interweb/net/porn hole/surf thing!

Wahooooooooooo!

Many a long and drawn out moon, me and my hair-do challenged counterpart have indulged in lengthy (mainly drunken) conversations based around the attempt to formulate an idea that will make us rich beyond our wildest (and very probably strangest (‘Mark’! raise your hand please... the class would like to point at you!)… Dreams.

And this, my friend, was the prime catalyst for this Blog.

Needless to say…So far... sod all cash has waffled in our direction as a direct effect of these brain-squeezing sessions.

The problem is not the ideas... no no no my friend... the ideas are thought out... researched........... Well, sort of... more a case of me saying, “Mark, I think this already exists!”.... And Marks reply, more often than not is based around the short/sharp expletive nature.

The real stumbling block appears to be action... Immediate, direct, none sofa related... action! The will to jump up and say, “I will go out and make this dream happen goddamnit!!!!...No matter what cost to myself or others.... be they on a bus or just walking past in a supermarket while I’m in the middle of purchasing items to use in my great adventure........... Not sure why I have fresh cream and cling film... but... I’m sure they will matter somewhere along this journey of inventive discovery.

Lazy, lazy, lazy etc....

Anyway... I digress.

This blog will serve many a function for my goofball friend and me. Discussion, ideas, rants, immature and probably offensive artwork, photography, links to other equally strange and wonderful websites and hopefully a good smattering of comments from anyone who cares to glance at this drivel.

So sit back, cradle that glass of red wine you left by the sink overnight, fish out the fly wing nestled black blobs and relax into the gibbering dribbling’s of two bored and middle aged nobodies on the road to blog-tastic enlightenment.

Banzai :0]